Waking Up
by FizzyWitch
Summary: COMPLETE! BuffyGiles. Due to a dream Buffy realizes some things. . .


_Waking Up Series_

_Pairing: Buffy/Giles_

_Rating: PG_

_Feedback: Please? (Just so you know, I love you vewy vewy much)_

_Summery:_

_Buffy realizes how alone she is, due to a dream, and how much she wants to be with someone. With Giles._

**PART ONE: Waking Up Alone**

_I forgot to tell you I love you. . ._

_And the nights too long,_

_And cold here without you._

_Sarah Mclachlan_

**The realizations all started with a dream. **

_She was in the training room of the Magic Box, with Giles._

**When she woke up everything was different.**

_"Block, Buffy." Giles said, as he took a swing at her. She blocked. "Good. Don't let anything past your defenses." He smiled at her, warmly, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkling. She felt her heart clench. But she didn't smile back._

**It was dark. So dark.**

_"I won't." She said, "I won't let anyone past." Her voice was hollow. He looked at her worried, "Buffy, are you alright?" Dropped his fighting stance and took a step forward. Toward her. He was so close. His hand reaching out. To touch her. "No!" She cried._

_She was safe._

_She was alone._

_She was safe._

_But she felt like her heart was made of stone._

_Her hand balled into a fist. "Buffy, what's wrong?" He took another step forward. Almost touching her. She felt like her stone heart was breaking down the middle. Crumbling. "Don't you trust me?" And she swung her fist, crashing in to his head. _

_I'm alone and I'm safe, she thought. _

_He spun backward. _

_He fell._

_He didn't move. _

**When she woke up she realized. . . **

_It's not safe. _

"_Your not safe." She told his crumpled form in a toneless voice. "You make me care." _

_Her knees gave out and she sank down beside him.  
_

_Her voice was brittle. "Its not fair. Your not supposed to be here." Her hand moved over her heart, before she reached out and gently turned him over on to his back, cradling his head in her lap. _

"_I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to be alone."_

_Eyes fluttered open, "Buffy." a whisper, "I'll always be with you." _

_She wanted to scream._

_She wanted to run._

_She wanted to hurt him._

_Instead, she cried._

_Her tears anointing his face. "You won't leave me?"_

_Oh God, Oh God. . . _

_I'm so scared. . . _

_I'm so alone. . . _

"_No." He said, reaching up to touch her face, "If you let me, I'll be with you always." _

_Always. . . _

_His fingers caressed her face, and suddenly she believed him, and removing his glasses, she leaned down and kissed forehead, his cheek. . . His lips. . . _

**But when she woke up she was alone. **

**Slowly she began to cry. And then tears were pouring down her face in a flood. **

**When her tears stopped she reached for the phone and called him. His flat in Bath. His home that wasn't here. "Giles?" Her voice was quivering. **

"**Buffy, are you alright?" His voice was so familiar. And it sounded so real. **

_Oh God. . . _

**She knew it must have been late there. . . Or early. . . **

"**I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have called. . . I just." **

"**No. Buffy, its alright. What do you need?" His voice was laced with concern. **

_You. I need you._

"**Giles, do. . . Do you think it would be alright if I. . . If Dawn and I came to England. To visit you?" Her voice was low. Trembling. Across the line, in England, Giles felt worry run through him. **

"**Of course. . ." He inhaled, exhaled. **

**Buffy relished the sound. And listened, just listened, for a moment. . . **

"**Buffy, if it would be easier for you I could come there. . ." **

**She cut him off, "No. No, I want to see you, your new home. Old home. Your home." **

"**Alright. . . I suppose. . . Why don't you call again tomorrow, and we'll make the arrangements." **

**She clung to the sound of his voice, felt herself realize one more time what he was to her. "O-okay. I guess. Uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow."**

"**Goodbye Buffy."**

"**I miss you, Giles." Her words hovered in the air. Heavy. Waiting. Hoping.**

"**I miss you to, Buffy." She wonder if she was imagining the catch in his voice.**

"**I love you, Giles." A tear traced a curving path down her cheek. **

**For a second, Giles's breathing hitched, and then very, very softly, in a very reserved British, Gilesy kind of way, "I love you to, Buffy." **

"**Goodbye, Watcher-Mine." **

"**Goodbye." **

**And then with a click, he was gone.**

**Buffy sat in her empty room. Her phone clutched to her ear, silent save for the sound of the dial tone echoing in her ears.**

**The realizations all started with a dream. **

**When she woke up everything was different.**

**It was dark. So dark.**

**When she woke up she realized that she loved him. **

**But when she woke up she was alone. **

**PART TWO: Waking Up In England**

**It had been odd, to say the least, when Buffy woke up that first morning in England. Still experiencing Jet Lag. . . And wondering if she could do what she had come here to do. **

**When she had arrived. . . **

_Her breath caught in her throat, and she tugged Dawn's hand, moving them quickly through the crowd in search of Giles. _

_Explaining to Dawn about **why** she was doing this- coming to England -had been easier then expected. Mainly because her sister had known before she had. It was rather shocking, actually, how accepting her sister had been about it all. . ._

_Dawn had called Giles's name. And moving faster then Buffy, across the linoleum flooring of the airport and into his arms. For a moment Buffy hung back, suddenly shy. But then Dawn stepped away and Giles opened his arms to her, and she moved into the warmth of his embrace without hesitation. _

"_I'm glad you're here." _

_He gazed at Buffy for a long moment, the connection between them practically sparking. _

_"I am too." She said, smiling brilliantly at him, barely noticing the look Dawn was giving her. Which was rather shocked, and rather happy. _

_He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that **way** of his, and she hugged him again. Buried her head into the fabric of his coat, breathing in the familiar, spicy scent of him. _

"_I am too." She whispered again._

**She was so scared. What if she lost him forever? She curled deeper into the couch. Giles had offered to sleep there, and let her have his bed, but in was too small for his frame by about a foot. . . **

_"Giles, really, you'd be squished. I'll fit on this just fine." She demonstrated, lying down and still having a remaining inch of couch left. "See? I'll be fine. . ."_

"_If your sure. . ."_

"_Of course I'm sure." _

_He had smiled at her then and she had swung back into a sitting position. Patting the spot beside her on the couch. He sat and they had talked for a long, long time. _

**Dawn had popped in after a while, but only to ask where the bathroom was. Until then Buffy hadn't realized just how much she had missed _talking_ to Giles. Just talking. Wow. How often had she really been able to just talk to a guy before? With Angel there was the fighting, brooding and uh. . . Evil. Enough said. . With Parker there was the lying. . . With Riley the "I am Slayer" issues, and sex. . . **

**But she could talk to Giles. Just be Buffy around him. No falsity. No pretending. Just him and her. It was almost enough. Almost. **

**How could she even begin to tell him. . . ?**

**She heard him begin to move around in the other room. It was time to get up. She didn't want to lose a minute of the time she had with him. Not even a second.**

**PART THREE: Waking Up With You**

**Buffy pressed deeper into the warm arms that surrounded her. **

_"Giles," She had said, "can we talk?" He looked up from the book he was reading. "Of course, Buffy." She gestured at the door, "Outside?" He nodded and got up off of the couch, somehow realizing this was important._

**Felt an exhalation of breath in her hair. **

_They had walked through England's twilight for a long time without speaking, until Giles had looked down at her. She was crying. . ._

**A hand touched her face, so gently.**

"_Buffy. . . What's wrong?" _

_Looking up into his face, eyes so concerned, she couldn't help but fall even more in love with him. _

"_I- Giles. . . I. . ." She gasped, and choked on words that wouldn't come. _

_"Shh. . . Buffy, its all right. Whatever it is, its okay." He held her to him in an uncharacteristic show of tenderness. She held him tightly too her. Her face pressed against his chest, her tears soaking his dark green shirt._

**She sighed against his caress, as it fluttered over her closed eyes.**

_"Is it?" She whispered against him, "Is it really okay for me to love you?" _

_A startled gasp, and he took a step away from her, his hands resting on her shoulders, startled green eyes staring intensely into hers. She didn't look away. And suddenly, looking into his eyes, she had hope._

**His lips pressed against her forehead, and a small smile graced her lips.**

_"Buffy. . . God, are you. . . Are you sure?" The words were spoken hesitantly, colored by doubt._

_She glared at him. She spoke, her voice trembling, "Yes. Damn it. Yes. And if you don't love me back-" Her voice shorted out for a moment, but she continued, "If you don't love me back I'll deal with it. But, I needed you to know. I wanted you to know. . ." She took a step forward and touched his face, "That I love you more then I thought I'd ever love **anyone.**" Another tear made its way down her cheek, "God I love you. . ."_

_He didn't say anything, and she felt something in her chest contract in pain. Buffy's hand fell from his cheek, and she turned away from him. . . Until he reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace. _

_"I love you, Buffy." He breathed, "So, so much. For so long." _

_Tears poured down her face, drawing gasps from deep inside her, and words, "I didn't think that you could. . . Not after everything I've done. . ." _

_"Shh. . ." He whispered, tilting her face up so that her eyes met his, "I love you." He brushed her tears away with gentle fingers. _

_And then he was kissing her. For a moment she stood shocked, but then she twined her arms around his neck to tangle her fingers in his hair. _

_Ah. . . _

_"Be with me always?" She asked, resting her head against his shoulder. _

_And there in the twilight he whispered, "Yes." _

**She took his left hand in hers and touched the wedding band that rested there. Buffy Anne Giles smiled as she woke up with her husband, her lover, her friend. **

**She wasn't alone anymore.**

**She was where she was supposed to be.**

**She was with him.**

**She was home. **


End file.
